Will someone please send me a fan so my long hair can blow in the wind without me having to go outside?
Oh and go here to ask me shit and leave me links related to stuff that has no relevance to anything. PLEASE DO THAT! Online Users
- Tomas: Where's Barry!?
- Smoky: He went upstairs to touch himself!
- Thomas: That seems right, he's known for doing that!
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Offy time!
We were in town, Thomas and I, and I noticed these two people walking and I made a comment about one of them being one of the people Thomas goes to the gym with but he said he didn’t know them! Anyway, I went to the off license and got alcohol and when I got back we were driving away and I noticed the people were walking incredibly slowly, they didn’t get far at all!
Me: Jeez they didn’t get far did they!?
Thomas: She has a fit arse!
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Just a drive in town!
- Me: OOOOAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
- Thomas: What? Is it a fit bird!?
- Me: No, Halloween decorations!
- Thomas: Oh… I usually only make a sound like that when there’s a fit bird!
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Thomas know's what's up!
- Thomas: Chatting to some birds on twitter!
- Me: Oh?
- Thomas: I'm fishing! Yeah tweeting at birds!
- Me: Hahahahaha, wait, if they're birds wouldn't you be hunting not fishing?
- Thomas: I'm up for some falconry!
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She basically just rejected him so now he’s gonna go home and fap fap fap fap fap fap fap!
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Guests
- Thomas: James, did you let the guests in?
- Smoky: Yeah.
- Thomas: What was it a woman a girl and a boy?
- Smoky: Yeah.
- Thomas: What was the woman like?
- Smoky: Married.
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Looking at friends!
- Chandler (to Richards date): And you don't have a moustache which is good!
- Thomas: Awkward BASTARD!
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Shop adventures!
We went to the shop to get ice-cream and ice pops! Thomas spotted some tail he wanted. Then me being me, I described how we would kidnap them. All the while Thomas was pleading with me to stop because there was a police officer right in front of us.
He said he liked how the two girls were dressed the, that that added to allure of them. Smoky told me that what I said next really confused and angered the woman behind me. All I said was “Aaawww… yeah baby, it’s hard to tell where your clothes end and mine begin!”.
I should probably mention that the woman was with her like, five year old kids at the time. BUT! I was talking about kidnapping twins and forcing them into the car but that was the comment that got a reaction.
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Everyone wants some.
- Me: Oh Thomas you'll like this look.
- Thomas: what is it pictures of you nude?
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- Cat: Hold out your arm.
- Me: Okay, why?
- Cat: Yeah I think you're whiter.
- Thomas: Yeah he is, you have a bit of beige at least but he's just the colour white!
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